3 Crucial Lessons I learned In Goal Planning for 2016.

It’s a new year! The success and failures of 2015 are over and it’s time to focus on 2016. My wife and I rented a room and spent a night planning our top 10 goals for 2016.

Here’s 3 crucial things I learned:

 

1. Don’t Chase Empty, Vain Goals.

“In the house of the righteous there is much treasure…” Proverbs 15:6

Here’s the truth: I focus more on accomplishing goals that are centered around my career and family than improving my spiritual life. I want to see my career go to another level. I want Macy and I to achieve a new depth in our relationship. Ok fine… I want to go vegan! These are not bad goals, but how often am I asking this question, “how can my family honor God more this year?”

Why does this matter?

God Brings Ultimate Satisfaction.

I’ve never believed this more until recently. The past few months was more prosperous than most for Macy and I. I got my health back, had a very comfortable Christmas, and had the opportunity to buy a few toys! ; ) Despite these apparent wins, I was still feeling down.

Why?

Because I wasn’t spending any time connecting with God.

“There is much treasure in the arms of the Lord.”

So this year I’ve committed to reading the Bible in a year, work on a Systematic Theology Bible study for our Church, and set aside time every day for intentional prayer and worship.

2. Focus on Learning.

“Perceptive words spread knowledge;” proverbs 15:7

Our mind is the most powerful thing God has given us. Our minds are either our greatest enemy or our biggest asset.

Being someone who is known for speaking perceptive words will only grow your influence with others, and grow you personally.

So how do you become more perceptive?

Read God’s Word. Let God’s words saturate your heart. I also recommend reading other classic works from C.S Lewis, A.W Tozer, or Jonathan Edwards. I promise, read a book from these guys and you’ll be one step closer to being a person that is known for speaking wise words.

3. Prioritize Who You Allow In Your Life.

“fools are hollow—there’s nothing to them…” proverbs 15:7

Nobody likes to do this, but let’s be honest, you have to protect your time. More importantly, you have to guard who you allow in. I’m not talking about excluding everyone, but rather choosing who you are going to invest in and allow invest into you.

We can’t invest in everyone, and we can’t allow everyone to invest in us.

Jesus did this with the twelve and further with His inner 3. So if Jesus did this, then I’m ok practicing this too! : )

Really, the principle is about maximizing your time.

 

Action steps:

  1. Write 1 spiritual goal for 2016
  2. Choose 1 book you’re going to read in 2016
  3. Make a list of the people you want to invest in and who you want investing into you.

Ask For It

Proverbs 14:8-9

The prudent understand where they are going, but fools deceive themselves. Fools make fun of guilt, but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation.

What does your future look like? Has a plan been made? Do you have it all mapped out to the last detail?

Wise planning.

Discipline.

Effort.

These things are needed to stay on the path God has led you to. You have to do your part. A prudent plan requires prudent daily decisions.

I don’t want to make a decision that is not well thought out. I have a circle of advisors who speak into my life regularly. They help me gain perspective from every angle. I understand the direction I’m going even if it means I don’t know the destination.

In the book of James, the brother of Jesus writes that if you lack wisdom, then you should ask for it and God will give it generously and without fault. He wants us to ask.

Always ask for it.

Foolish decisions lead you places you don’t want to go and leave you with consequences you hadn’t even dreamed of. Fools have hardened hearts and rejoice over their own sin and that of others. In reality, they need to mourn over their sin instead of laughing it away. They gloss over it with the perception of having peace. In all their joy over the wrong they’ve done, they step once more into another foolish decision.  And the cycle continues until a change of heart happens. Then, as God works in them and matures them, they recognize the foolishness of their ways and then understand there must be restoration. This in turn leads to broken hearts and lives being restored to move into complete healing.The joy on someone’s face as the transition happens is priceless.

Running Straight to God

Proverbs 14:7-8

 

Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on his lips. (7) This isn’t the first time the bible warns us about hanging around the wrong people. Using discernment is key here, you know, first impressions. If they cannot teach you wisdom, and what comes out of their mouth isn’t the same as the truth you know, then you should walk away or consider them an acquaintance. The fool shuts himself out from even having the capacity to understand truth.

The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception (8). Having wisdom is important, we are to pray for it (Jas 5) a prudent person gives thoughts to his steps. The Old Testament reminds us of a few women who overcame some challenges that they were presented with, and they did so because they were smart. The lives of Naomi and Esther, played vital roles in God’s history of salvation, they lived their lives with a responsible attitude of faith. Being clever just so that you can look better and achieve your own goal is not ok. But using it responsibly and in total dependence to God, brings blessings. A fool only deceives himself, they believe their own propaganda. We are supposed to encourage each other daily and build each other up so that we don’t get caught in “almost-not-truths.” It’s easy to do, I’m just as guilty of being deceived, that’s even more reason to be continually seeking knowledge and understanding, so that the times we aren’t certain, we know where to run. Straight to God!

Taking the Stand: Will I be an Honest Witness?

Proverbs 14: 5-6

Many of us have seen a television show where there is a dramatic courtroom scene and a witness is testifying. The tension is high, people are on edge, and the outcome hinges on the testimony of this one witness. Similarly, our willingness to be an honest witness not only affects our own lives but the lives of others. God’s word challenges us to stand firm and be an honest witness.

5 An honest witness does not lie, a false witness breathes lies.

Although this verse on its face appears simple, it is a rather complex statement. When the writer refers to lies he is not referring to simply speaking lies. He is talking about deception. We must understand Satan (The Deceiver) is the ultimate deceiver. In every way he lies. Through word and deed, action and inaction, he wants us to believe those things that would keep us far from God. He wants to confuse and conflict us. He wants to use what God has given us as weapons against us. One example is “conviction”. God gives us conviction so that we might seek forgiveness, change our behaviors, and come into a better and closer relationship with him. The Deceiver uses conviction to tell us we are not worthy of God’s love, he uses it to keep us from achieving Gods plan for our lives. He continually deceives us with falsehoods about our worthiness of God’s love and attention. We can break through his lies by understanding the simple truth that God is for us and is an honest witness to our lives. If we seek him in prayer and genuinely listen to his guidance he will always speak and reveal truth (wisdom) into our lives.

6 A mocker seeks wisdom and never finds it, but knowledge comes easily to those with understanding.

Does a mocker seek wisdom? Perhaps, but not true wisdom, much like the ultimate deceiver a mocker deceives themselves by thinking wisdom resides in what they already know. Those who seek true wisdom (Gods truth) must submit to the truth that there is much they don’t know. Think of someone you know who is unwilling to change…They may debate and argue their position, all the while never admitting when they may be wrong (Pride). This is the mocker…”I am right because I say I am right…I will listen to your position…but only so I can try to prove you wrong.” That may be why the mocker never finds wisdom…he seeks only wisdom that agrees with what he already thinks. However, True wisdom is easily found for those who are willing to change. (Open), those who are willing to genuinely listen (Humble), and those are willing to accept that they may need to change their position (Vulnerability). When we are open, humble, and vulnerable we are able to hear and understand Gods wisdom because we take the position of servant instead of master. We recognize our dependence on God and like any good and faithful servant we seek to do what is pleasing to the Master. As a result, when we genuinely submit to God in prayer and seek his truth we are able to hear him, understand, and recognize true wisdom.

As I composed this a couple of questions came to mind that I will reflect on and I encourage you to consider.

  1. In what way could I be a more honest witness? (Avoid Gossip, Half Truths, False Witness)
  2. Do I mock Gods wisdom by not seeking it or only seeking it when things are hard?
  3. What areas of my life am I holding on to that keep me from gaining a better understanding of Gods wisdom?

 

Healthy Time Management

Proverbs 14:3-4

“By the mouth of a fool comes a rod for his back, but the lips of the wise will preserve them. Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.”

 

This is one of my favorite scriptures in the whole Bible. It’s one of my faves because it affirms something that maturity tells us day in and day out. Life is messy, and it keeps getting messier! But it’s okay because there is going to be fruit for that. Rule number one that this scripture suggests is don’t over commit. Foolishness in the dictionary can be defined as lack of wisdom or insight to the future. Use your mouth and words to build up your future rather burden your future. Protect the time that you have and understand the amount of time that certain things will take you, otherwise you place a rod on your back that you won’t even be able to move under.

The next verse blows my mind because it reminds us that wisdom isn’t always an easy schedule, it’s just a worthy one. Sometimes you will have a lot on your plate and that’s just the season you are in. Think of oxen as the commitments you make. Sure, in a life of no responsibility there is no mess, but there is also no fruit and that is not the empty life God asks of us. He never said he wanted a ‘pretty’ life, but He did say He wanted a fruitful life. If you are in a busy season, don’t immediately look for escape exits to all these commitments. Stay in the game and keep your ‘oxen’ in their place because although it might look messy, it’s going to be worth it when the pay off comes.

 

Evaluate what you are committed to and take time to envision the benefits of that commitment. If you struggle with this on certain responsibilities, perhaps prayerfully consider taking things off your plate. Remember, the difficulty of the task isn’t what matters, it’s the fruit that defines whether or not it’s worth it.

Lessons I’ve Learned from Dating the Wrong People

Proverbs 14:1-2

Have you ever dated someone, invested your time and energy into them to later realize that this is not the person God has for you?  Maybe you have dated a while but something happens to make you realize it wasn’t right. This person could have been your best friend or maybe even slightly abusive. Like a punch to the gut, your eyes are now opened and your heart and mind flood with all kinds of emotions. I’ve been there. Done that. Too many times.

Andy Stanley teaches and asks the question, “are you the person who you are looking for is looking for?” Are you who you would want would want? The idea here is that perhaps dating and the road to marriage is more about becoming the best version of yourself than finding the perfect person to “complete” you. What are the qualities in a spouse that you are looking for?  What qualities do you have that possibly need refining? The bible gives us instruction for our relationships and what to look for. Scholars believe that Solomon was teaching his song in these verses, explaining to him what he needed to look for in his future spouse.

1 A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands

1. First, build up you

Imagine yourself sitting on an airplane waiting for the plane to take off and the flight attendant is going through the safety procedures. What do they always say about what to do when there is low cabin pressure and the oxygen masks come down? First, put the mask on yourself so that you can help others around you. You can’t help others if you haven’t first taken care of you. The most unselfish thing you can do is take care of you. Our church always says, ” a healthy you, makes a healthy we.” Do whatever it is you need to do to be physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy. And be the best version of you can be. One of the greatest qualities to have is to have insight into yourself. Know what makes you, you and allow the Holy Spirit to mold you into who he created you to be.

2. Second, Words tear down and words build

Speak to the significant other in your life with honesty and encouragement. Speak to the deep places in their hearts. Speak to the potential in them. Speak to what you see in them that you want to come out. Everyone wants to know and feel that you are for and with them through anything. This can be shown in even the little day to day things, then when the major life events happen, you will have built up that confidence in one another to stick through it and push ahead.
Those who follow the right path fear the LORD; those who take the wrong path despise him 

  1. Third, trust in following God’s path

 

Cliché but true, God’s way is the best way. I have learned that God knows what he is talking about…always. He is your Creator; He knows everything about you. He is your Father; He cares about what you care about and wants the best for you. The verse explains that those who truly love God follow his ways, and those who don’t hate him. This was always a tough verse for me to digest. I thought I loved God, but my actions proved otherwise. I knew that I was dating the wrong people, and desired my pleasure over pleasing God. My heart despised God and was against him. The end of my road led to hurt, confusion, and brokenness. God desires the best person for us in his timing and in his way.