Proverbs 14:1-2
Have you ever dated someone, invested your time and energy into them to later realize that this is not the person God has for you? Maybe you have dated a while but something happens to make you realize it wasn’t right. This person could have been your best friend or maybe even slightly abusive. Like a punch to the gut, your eyes are now opened and your heart and mind flood with all kinds of emotions. I’ve been there. Done that. Too many times.
Andy Stanley teaches and asks the question, “are you the person who you are looking for is looking for?” Are you who you would want would want? The idea here is that perhaps dating and the road to marriage is more about becoming the best version of yourself than finding the perfect person to “complete” you. What are the qualities in a spouse that you are looking for? What qualities do you have that possibly need refining? The bible gives us instruction for our relationships and what to look for. Scholars believe that Solomon was teaching his song in these verses, explaining to him what he needed to look for in his future spouse.
1 A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands
1. First, build up you
Imagine yourself sitting on an airplane waiting for the plane to take off and the flight attendant is going through the safety procedures. What do they always say about what to do when there is low cabin pressure and the oxygen masks come down? First, put the mask on yourself so that you can help others around you. You can’t help others if you haven’t first taken care of you. The most unselfish thing you can do is take care of you. Our church always says, ” a healthy you, makes a healthy we.” Do whatever it is you need to do to be physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy. And be the best version of you can be. One of the greatest qualities to have is to have insight into yourself. Know what makes you, you and allow the Holy Spirit to mold you into who he created you to be.
2. Second, Words tear down and words build
Speak to the significant other in your life with honesty and encouragement. Speak to the deep places in their hearts. Speak to the potential in them. Speak to what you see in them that you want to come out. Everyone wants to know and feel that you are for and with them through anything. This can be shown in even the little day to day things, then when the major life events happen, you will have built up that confidence in one another to stick through it and push ahead.
2 Those who follow the right path fear the LORD; those who take the wrong path despise him
- Third, trust in following God’s path
Cliché but true, God’s way is the best way. I have learned that God knows what he is talking about…always. He is your Creator; He knows everything about you. He is your Father; He cares about what you care about and wants the best for you. The verse explains that those who truly love God follow his ways, and those who don’t hate him. This was always a tough verse for me to digest. I thought I loved God, but my actions proved otherwise. I knew that I was dating the wrong people, and desired my pleasure over pleasing God. My heart despised God and was against him. The end of my road led to hurt, confusion, and brokenness. God desires the best person for us in his timing and in his way.