Proverbs 14: 30-31

A common in theme in Proverbs is learning what is and how to do God’s way. Again, the author is teaching us that God’s way is always the best way. No matter how we are feeling about a decision or situation; God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts and his ways are higher than ours. He sees all things out of time, from beginning to end. He knows how the story plays out. And he leads us step by step walking with us, holding our hand, and not just giving us a map to figure it all out on our own.

Our vertical relationship, the relationship with our self and the Father must be in check and healthy if we are to have a full life. This verse teaches that a peaceful heart is health to the body but a jealous one causes disease. Literally, when we are out of the umbrella of God’s boundaries for us we can become sick in our bodies because of our choices in sin. But if we look at the verse metaphorically, we can see this to be true too.

From my experience, jealousy, anger, envy, and selfishness have all caused my heart to ache and be unsettled internally. These emotions (if held onto and not released into God’s care) can cause chaos and confusion within one’s self, which in turn, affects our relationship with God and others.

Our relationship with God is hindered because we are now hiding things from him and not allowing him to be our Healer and Comforter. Then, it becomes like a ripple effect with those around us. We are unsettled in who we are, distant from God, and unhappy with people. This one emotion and choice can lead to chaos if it goes unchecked.

A peaceful heart leads to health and wholeness with self, God and others. The next verse shows us God’s care for how we treat the poor. Those who hold down or oppress the poor insult God. All people are created and loved by God. No matter how lost or broken. They are God’s masterpiece. Life may have hit them hard or choices may have led down a wrong path, but that does not change who they are. Beloved by God as you are. The author teaches us that it insults God when we treat his people wrongly, especially the poor.

But those who help the poor honor God. This is my life’s mission. To honor God in all that I do. How best to start than by loving his people, especially those who are overlooked. God sees and adores them. What an honor it is for us to be the ones who can treat people with the care and love God has for people. I have traveled overseas to do missions and I am always overcome with the joy of the Father’s heart for the poor. I think of one experience specifically, my friend Faith and I were walking through this village in Cambodia that literally was sitting in grey water (basically a sewer). They had built planks on top of planks to raise their houses (houses reminded us of the playhouses we would have in our backyards) from letting the water, feces, and trash come in. There was a woman sitting on her porch working on something when I saw the rope burn mark around her neck. It took all that is within me not to cry right then. She told us that she has no way to provide for her children. Her baby daddy left them and now this woman is stuck to figure out how to get a job and care for her multiple kids. She finally had enough and attempted to hang herself, but her oldest daughter found her before her last breath escaped her and cut her down. After this conversation, Faith and I walked down the path with no words. I just wanted to hold this woman and cry with her. I would have sat for hours with her if I were able. I would have given her all the money I had to help her. I would have watched her kids for her while she was at work if I could have. I would have told them stories about Jesus and how he has a special place in his heart for them. There is this amazing thing that happens whenever you are around the people Jesus loves, he gives you the eyes to see and the heart to feel what he feels about them.

This was by far the poorest community I have ever been in. And honestly, the dirtiest place I’ve ever been. But I would have stayed there for hours and not even cared. I believe this is how Jesus loves. And it honors him when we choose to love the way he does. And it should be an honor for us that we get to be the ones who can share this love to the poor and those around us.

Proverbs 14:1-2

Have you ever dated someone, invested your time and energy into them to later realize that this is not the person God has for you?  Maybe you have dated a while but something happens to make you realize it wasn’t right. This person could have been your best friend or maybe even slightly abusive. Like a punch to the gut, your eyes are now opened and your heart and mind flood with all kinds of emotions. I’ve been there. Done that. Too many times.

Andy Stanley teaches and asks the question, “are you the person who you are looking for is looking for?” Are you who you would want would want? The idea here is that perhaps dating and the road to marriage is more about becoming the best version of yourself than finding the perfect person to “complete” you. What are the qualities in a spouse that you are looking for?  What qualities do you have that possibly need refining? The bible gives us instruction for our relationships and what to look for. Scholars believe that Solomon was teaching his song in these verses, explaining to him what he needed to look for in his future spouse.

1 A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands

1. First, build up you

Imagine yourself sitting on an airplane waiting for the plane to take off and the flight attendant is going through the safety procedures. What do they always say about what to do when there is low cabin pressure and the oxygen masks come down? First, put the mask on yourself so that you can help others around you. You can’t help others if you haven’t first taken care of you. The most unselfish thing you can do is take care of you. Our church always says, ” a healthy you, makes a healthy we.” Do whatever it is you need to do to be physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy. And be the best version of you can be. One of the greatest qualities to have is to have insight into yourself. Know what makes you, you and allow the Holy Spirit to mold you into who he created you to be.

2. Second, Words tear down and words build

Speak to the significant other in your life with honesty and encouragement. Speak to the deep places in their hearts. Speak to the potential in them. Speak to what you see in them that you want to come out. Everyone wants to know and feel that you are for and with them through anything. This can be shown in even the little day to day things, then when the major life events happen, you will have built up that confidence in one another to stick through it and push ahead.
2 Those who follow the right path fear the LORD; those who take the wrong path despise him 

3. Third, trust in following God’s path

Cliché but true, God’s way is the best way. I have learned that God knows what he is talking about…always. He is your Creator; He knows everything about you. He is your Father; He cares about what you care about and wants the best for you. The verse explains that those who truly love God follow his ways, and those who don’t hate him. This was always a tough verse for me to digest. I thought I loved God, but my actions proved otherwise. I knew that I was dating the wrong people, and desired my pleasure over pleasing God. My heart despised God and was against him. The end of my road led to hurt, confusion, and brokenness. God desires the best person for us in his timing and in his way.

Proverbs 12:17-20

“An honest witness tells the truth; a false witness tells lies. Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed. Deceit fills hearts that are plotting evil; joy fills hearts that are planning peace!”

Life and death are in the tongue. The Bible teaches that there is power behind our words. We have been entrusted with this responsibility. What does our speech say about what we believe? Do we really believe this truth? That words bring death and life.

We have all had people in our lives that speak truth and lies to us. Can you remember a moment when you had a friend or mentor that encouraged you? In that moment were you empowered to move forward beyond your current circumstance? Maybe it was during a heartbreak, divorce or financial stress. Or did you have the opposite, maybe it was someone you trusted and they discouraged you or even spread lies and rumors about you? Can you remember the feelings you had after these two events? What did you feel? Uplifted? Accepted? Betrayed? Attacked? If we have lived for five minutes on this earth, we have most likely experienced both of these multiple times. Words are impactful. Words change things. In moments of great need, words spoken have the opportunity to direct the course of our lives and the lives around us. We often hold on to the false or negative words spoken to us rather than the positive and encouraging. The words that have been spoken to us can mold who we are and what we believe. Words have the ability to bind or break strongholds. There is power in our words.

The real question we probably should take away from these verses, however, is where do you fit, who are you?  Are you the false witness who spreads lies, the one who spreads cutting remarks whose hearts are being filled with deceit? Or are you the honest witness that always tells the truth, are you the one who speaks words that bring healing? Your words will stand the test of time and joy will fill your hearts. True fulfillment is found here. We most likely have fallen into both of these categories at one time or another…I know that I have. But as we move forward who do we want to become? What will be our experience? And the experience that we share with others?

Proverbs 18:21; James 3:5-8; Matthew 12:33-37; Ephesians 4:29; Hebrews 4:12